I'll admit it: Until only very recently, anytime I'd pass a Wal-Mart I'd fire my imaginary laser gun that's mounted on my hood. The laser beam makes big box stores disappear. A comforting, low-grade hum is all you hear, like sending a fax to Kingdom Come. All gone. Then, this giant, tree-covered green toupee falls to the earth and takes its place.
I'd usually toss in a few cows to hold it all down like paperweights, and then my work would be done. All in all, a clean operation. No one got hurt.
What can I say: A fella has to dream.